What Is I Choose Me?
What does it mean to choose? To choose means to pick out or select someone or something as being the BEST or MOST appropriate of two or more alternatives.
Being a woman is hard. We give so much of ourselves to everyone but us. We're moms, wives, girlfriends, sisters, employees, employers, and everything else in between. We give birth to children not knowing if we'll be a good mom and worrying if our bodies will snap back to that pre-baby weight. From surgery, dieting, excessive exercise, and damn near starving ourselves. Why? Is it to please our significant others? Are we trying to look like that Instagram model that lied about the tummy tea? Or are we really confident in who we are?
How much time do we give to ourselves? We're moms 24 hours a day. We try to be the best significant other we can be. Striving to meet everyone else's needs but often overlook our own. Are you choosing you?
Most of my adult life I catered to everyone but me. I was there for family who later disowned me when I could no longer help them. I started losing friends when I started to find Leslie. Relationships were centered around making sure he was good because I wanted him to be happy. I was a mom no matter what. When I wanted to do for me, I ended up doing for my son and putting my needs to the side. As an employee I worked long hours just to get a raise that would never be seen on my paycheck. I was everything to everyone and nothing to me. I was a loyal friend but a disloyal person to myself.
How did I get here? From going through depression in silence, low self-esteem, lacking confidence in my gifts, and not truly loving me. I was broken. From the outside I had it all together. On the inside I was torn into pieces. After over 10 years of giving so much to everyone else and nothing to me, the breakdown happened. I sat in my room; I cried, screamed, and prayed. I didn't pray for guidance but I kept asking God why me. Why am I so stupid? Why do I keep dealing with the same stuff? Just why. I didn't understand how I forgot who I was. Even after that things didn't change. It wasn't until November 2017, when I took a selfie and I didn't like the person I saw. From the new hairstyles every six months, excessive shopping, makeup, nails, trips, etc.; I knew I was trying to cover something up or someone. Starting with a hashtag of I Choose Me, I was ready to be who God wanted me to be. Don't get it twisted because it wasn't easy but it was worth it. I now know God had to take me through a tropical storm in order for me to see the sunshine. I don't regret going through any of it. I now have a voice to help someone else.
Welcome to I Choose Me! What can you find here? Me being transparent and showing you what's real. It's too many fakes on social media. They only show the after but never the middle. How did I get to this place in my life? Stay tuned.