Repainting One Stroke and Day At A Time: Tiona Lee
I am so proud that I started to “Choose Me” once again.
I started having children at the age of 19 years young. At that time I just had moved out on my own; going to college and no intention of starting a family of my own. I had grew up in a household where I always had to share a room and take care of my siblings so I wanted to be free; but God had another plan. So at the age of 25 I had my second child and wasn’t married; so needless to say “I was a single Mother of two.” I never intended on being a single mother but I knew that I could handle whatever would come my way. Years later I met a man who would change my life forever. We said I do 6 years ago and have been together for a total of ten years. My husband had a son prior to our marriage and I had two children; so together we already had a full house. We agreed to have one child together and 5 years ago we had a wonderful child that we call Alana and a year later another daughter Ariana. So in the mist of postpartum depression and my stepson moving in our home full time; I was extremely worn out mentally, emotionally and physically. I had a business of caring for young children as well and I still have no clue how I held it all together the way that I did.
I think that we all go through a time when we stop doing the things that used to bring us true happiness. Before I had gotten married I enjoyed writing, drawing, and dancing etc. One day I woke up and realized how far I was from I once was, I realized that I was dealing with depression and I was ignoring it. I had no idea that everything I was attempting to become was being forced, it was the norm and what society felt was safe. My passion was being smothered, the flame had been blown out and I was not living in my purpose. I was a wife, a stay at home mom, and everything to everyone else but lost what truly made me happy. I lived in a beautiful home that I did not get a chance to decorate, had a handsome husband who I resented because he could go to work while I stayed at home to care for our children. I realized that I was changing and I was changing into a woman that my husband or I did not like. Don’t get me wrong I still had Joy and lots to be grateful for, but deep inside I wasn’t happy at all. I wasn’t spending time with friends, I would barely call them. I wasn’t being my normal creative self. I didn’t have the desire to be affectionate like I once used to be and I was no longer connecting with my innermost feelings. I realized that my identity had been stripped and I was severely depressed. That was the moment that I had finally realized that I had spent so much time nurturing everyone else and I didn’t even recognize who I was any longer.
So the real question that I needed to ask myself was; How could I be the best Wife and Mother if I did not value my own happiness? Happiness was an inner muscle that I needed to strengthen. Have you ever heard the quote “Happiness is an inside job?” Well it is true and until you reach rock bottom like I did you may never get what that means.
Even though I felt down, lonely and I could not hear God’s voice at that time; I never lost my faith in him and all that he promised me. I still knew that somehow this dust will be used to create newness. While praying one day; God spoke to me and confirmed that my husband and I needed to rekindle our marriage. I needed to be more patient with my little ones. I needed to work on enjoying each moment and that I needed to find creative ways to release my stress and anxieties.
I realized that in order to see a change, I needed to start implementing new practices in my home and start spending quality time where it was needed most. So I started taking time out for ME. I started reading books, writing, listening to music, and painting whatever my heart desired. In the beginning of 2018 I founded Paint & Create by Tiona Lee; where I offer Paint Parties and Face/ Body Paint. It took me a while to finally wake up and realize that it’s okay to follow my passion and do something that may be a little scary! Since the opening of this amazing business; I have met wonderful people and it generates a significant income for my family. So it is a Win Win for us!!!
Facebook: Tiona L Camira