She has beautiful brown skin. Sometimes she comes in a milk chocolate color. She can have a range of caramel, mocha, or a dark chocolate shade. She’s a mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, grand-mother, god-mother, Pastor, CEO, business owner, student, and one of the smartest human beings on the Earth. She is beyond intelligent and one of the most successful persons alive. She is all of this, but she is the only one that is unprotected. Who is she? She is the black woman.
I needed to write this blog for several reasons. The first reason is because of the R. Kelly documentary that appeared on Lifetime. I’m not promoting him, but trying to protect the black girl/woman. When this series came out, I was shocked by what I heard from women and men of color. A lot of women was blaming the teenage girls. GROWN BLACK WOMEN, were blaming little black girls. It was said they were fast a$$ girls, hoes, whores, wanted to be famous, freaks, and so many other degrading names. The men said; they got what they deserved, the parents should have stepped up, the girls wanted to act grown, that’s what they get, and more. From all of these people that were posting negative things about the girls, I didn’t hear one thing from them about what he did. There was blame placed on the parents, but none on him. They said “he was just being a man.”
Most of these people have daughters and they still blamed a 14, 15, 16, and 17 year old girl. These are girls that was still growing in life. They weren’t fully developed. Their mind was very immature. They are easily manipulated. Most of all, they are little girls. Little girls that can’t drive legally. Young ladies that can’t go on a field trip without their parents permission. A child that can’t get their cell phone in their name. If she can’t do anything of these things on her own, how do you think she’s able to consent to sex with a grown man with a clear mindset? There’s a difference between two 14 year old’s having sex and a 14 year old having sex with a 29 year old. When you have two teens having sex, you have two kids that don’t know what they’re doing. They are both immature and still growing when it comes to their mind. When you take a 29 year old man and allow him to get into the mind of a 14 or 15 year old girl, the tables are turned now. Things are different.
No one was protecting them years ago and no one is protecting them now. Of course we can question the parents role in this. We can say the parents should have been there. You can say the parents sold their daughters. People can say a lot, but the bottom line is, this grown man manipulated these girls. He molested them and there’s no question about it. What about the single mother that’s working 10 hours a day to support her family? The mother that thought her daughter was going to school, but instead she was with a grown man. Or the mother that thought her daughter was at the movies with her friend, instead her daughter and friend was with a grown man. Are we blaming this mother? Ignorant people are blaming the parents and girls, but not this grown man that knows better. Where’s the protection?
The second reason I wrote this blog is from a television series I was watching. I’m an 80’s baby and one of my favorite shows I watched was A Different World. When the show originally aired I was in elementary/middle school. Amazon Prime currently have the series available to watch. I binge watched the show and saw things now as an adult, that I didn’t pay attention to as a child. I remembered every episode, but they meant more to me now. There was one episode that made me proud to be a black woman. This episode convinced me that there is a black man out there, that will protect the black woman. Or is it only protection on the screen?
There was an episode where Gina who was played by Ajai Sanders was being abused. Her rapper boyfriend was physically abusing her. Freddie, who’s character was played by Cree Summers witnessed the incident, but she didn’t know who it was. In the beginning there was two sides to the issue. The part that got me was when her friend Lena, who was played by Jada Pinkett stepped in. Lena knew her friend needed help and she didn’t blame her friend. Instead she asked what could she do to help her. The males on the show had her back. They weren’t going to stand by and allow this man to beat on this sister. She was protected, but she was also only a television character.
Who’s protecting the black girl and woman? From the thousands of missing black teens, where it’s not getting any media attention. The media will air it for a couple of days and that’s it. When there’s one blonde hair, blue eye, white girl missing, everyone is looking for her. Television shows are being interrupted to give updates. Yes it’s important that she’s found, but who’s looking for the black and brown missing girls. Then there’s the sexual misconduct in Hollywood. No one was paying attention to the original founder of the “Me Too” movement, until a white woman in Hollywood tweeted it. It took for a white woman to say she was being harassed, for someone to do something about it. When the Catholic Priest is mentioned and everyone talks about how they abuse little white boys and girls, everyone is in an uproar. Black people are angry and saying they should burn in hell, they need to step down, and putting the catholic church down. But, R Kelly has sex with a 14 year old on video, and he still sell out concerts.
Where is our protection? Don’ get me wrong, there are some strong black men that’s protecting us every day. The problem is, there’s more that’s not protecting us then that is protecting us. Black women, when will we stop putting our sister down when something tragic happens to her. When will we stop blaming her for being the victim? Instead of saying, “she should have done this,” ask her how can you help. One day that victim may be your daughter and will need protection.
When you support R Kelly and other abusers, you’re doing a disgrace to every black girl that’s still growing. Every girl that haven’t even experienced life is being disservice because no one wants to protect her. When you buy his music, you are letting them know they don’t matter. When you attend his concerts, you just told that 15 year old, no one cares. Whether it’s R Kelly or some other pedophile, we have to stop protecting them. We have to stop blaming the victim. Please stop making these girls feel like in order for them to matter, they have to be white. Our black girls matter. No more protection of these sick men. If the justice system doesn’t hold them accountable, we need to. Let’s protect our girls.