You made a promise to yourself and God that you wouldn’t do something ever again. You have been doing good until temptation hit you in your face.
What do you do?
Do you fight it?
Do you give in this one time and start over?
Do you forget about the promise because the temptation is too heavy?
February 2017 was the last time I had sexual intercourse. I wasn’t practicing celibacy, I just wasn’t getting any. I was no longer dating anyone or had any interest in dating. In the back of my mind as soon as I met someone and we established a relationship and commitment, we were going to have sex. In all honesty I was used to having sex. November 2017 I told God that I wanted to surrender that part of my life back to him. I wanted to date, be in a relationship and get married, but I was no longer willing to dive into that pool with anyone that wasn’t my husband.
I was GOOD!!!
I was like CLANK, CLANK (in my Madea’s voice)
Then temptation hit me in the face. I met someone the following January and I thought he had a lot of potential. We both went to church, goal driven, he prayed with me and so much more. There’s always a but……
I believe in being upfront with men, especially if I see some potential in them. I told him about me being celibate and of course he wasn’t, but chose to respect my decisions. Things always go left when you put yourself in a situation. We had gone out on a couple of dates and I went to his house one day. It was strictly about us hanging out and nothing more. What happens when you have a handsome and chocolate man sitting in front of your face, looking like a full course meal? You forget about your promise and go for what you’re used to.
Now please understand he wasn’t flirting, all up on me, or anything like that. We were sitting on two different chairs, but this was the first time I placed myself in a situation like this. If I was seeing someone I didn’t see anything wrong with being intimate with them. That’s how I always felt in my past.
This time around my conscience kicked in. I was a different woman. I was at a point in my life where I was tired of disappointing God. I was tired of saying I wasn’t going to do something, do it, repent, and end up doing it again. Needless to say, we’re not together now. It wasn’t because of the no sex situation, but he had too many personalities. I only have the strength to deal with one personality.
Yes, I know a sin is a sin and I still sin, but this was one promise I didn’t want to break. What did I learn?
I learned that we as humans aren’t perfect and we mess up. The problem is the reason we mess up so much, is because we place ourselves in situations where we know things will be tempting. After that day I never placed myself in a situation like that before. I can’t promise that I will never be alone with a man again when I get into another relationship, but I have to remember 1 Corinthians 10:13. Over two years without having sex and it gets harder and harder, but aren’t we worth more as single women then our body?